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Telling your kids that you are getting divorced


Breaking the news about a divorce to children may not be easy but there are some ways to do it that are better than others.

Arizona parents that must face the prospect of telling their children about an upcoming divorce can understandably be concerned about doing so. In many cases, such news can be upsetting to children and can also initiate a long list of questions that parents cannot always answer immediately. However, it must be done and how it is done can make a big difference to parents and children alike.

Keeping a view on the future

One thing that can be helpful for parents in these situations is to be focused on what they want the future to look like for their children. Unless abuse or other circumstances are involved, that future generally involves good rapport and contact with both parents. Free-flowing communication is one way to achieve this according to the Huffington Post. The lack of restrictions on phone calls, texts or other messages is recommended to facilitate these good bonds.

Start it off on the right foot

In order to achieve these good relationships down the road, Psychology Today indicates that telling all children in a family about a divorce together is best. In this way, there is no ability for children to feel like some siblings are favored or others are looked down upon in some way based upon who was told the news first or last. This initial divorce conversation should also not allow anyone to be blamed for the divorce. As many reassurances as possible about maintaining parental-child relationships should be given.

Keeping it going

Once all of the children know about the divorce, it will then be appropriate-and important-for parents to have conversations with each child individually. These discussions can sometimes be difficult but will allow parents to keep an eye on the emotional health of children through the process.

Today’s Parent also explains that these one-on-one conversations give moms and dads the chance to talk to different kids at their own maturity levels. What a 12-year-old can understand and talk about is very different to what an eight-year-old or a four-year-old can understand and talk about.

Regardless of age, helping kids through a divorce involves keeping routines and structure in their everyday lives. This includes at home, at school, with friends and extended family members, and with extracurricular activities.

What else can parents do?

Making sure that experienced legal counsel is involved in a divorce is important for Arizona residents. This can help people protect their assets. Additionally, it can give parents the ability to stay focused on their children knowing that other matters are being properly handled by an attorney.