Tucson Family Law Blog

While it may be difficult to do at times, parents in Arizona who have gone through a divorce know that it is more productive to focus on the positive sides of co-parenting as opposed to focusing on the negative. Focusing on what is actually working can help co-parents as they take step to improve areas that aren't working so well.

When parents have joint physical custody of their children, it is a lot easier to co-parent when established boundaries are recognized on both ends. It is better to focus on what a person can control and not what they cannot control. For example, unless it is specifically outlined in the custody agreement, a person cannot control when their ex-spouse dates someone new and introduces the individual to their children. What a parent can focus on is helping their children see positive ways to deal with disappointments.

Many people expect that when Arizona couples marry, their happiness in the relationship will almost inevitably decrease over time. They may expect that when the honeymoon period is over, couples grow apart and begin to fight more. Small things that may have initially not bothered the partners may begin to become sources of conflict. However, some research has questioned the idea that marital dissatisfaction grows with time. While relationships may change, it seems that the happiest couples when they initially marry are far more likely to stay happy together over the years that follow.

Researchers wanted to study marital satisfaction and indicators of divorce across a range of populations. They noticed that many studies examining these issues focused primarily on white middle-class couples, and they were interested in the effects of socioeconomic status on marital happiness. They surveyed the 431 couples living in a lower-income area in 2009 as newlyweds and delivered the survey again each year until 2014.

Some people in Arizona may believe a number of myths about divorce. These myths can be harmful when they mean that people going through a divorce are misled about finances or child custody. For example, a couple may assume that having separate bank accounts means their finances will be considered separate, but this is not the case. In Arizona, a community property state, most assets acquired since the marriage are considered shared property.

Another misconception is that mothers always get custody. Under this assumption, fathers may not even try for custody. However, courts make a decision about custody that is in the best interests of the child. A father who has been the main caregiver for the child may be awarded custody. Similarly, men might also assume that they will not receive alimony. This has also changed as more women have entered the workforce and their salaries have increased. Men who have stayed home and cared for children may be paid spousal support until they are back in the workforce.

Studies have shown that children who spend time with each of their parents do better socially, psychologically and academically. Those who are with each of their parents for at least 35% of the time have stronger relationships with both of them. For divorced parents in Arizona, the goal of co-parenting should be to move toward the highest good of the children. Among the most important keys to co-parenting are establishing clear boundaries and open communication, being consistent with rules, sticking to a schedule and maintaining respect.

Clear boundaries are required between the parents with regard to issues that don't involve the children. Co-parenting is not a means to remain tied to the other parent; it is an arrangement to help the child in ways that sole custody often can't accomplish. Open lines of communication might include texting, email, phone calls or other methods. The key is to have a way to communicate honestly with the other parent on issues involving the kids.