Breaking the divorce news to your children is an important step to take. It helps frame the situation for them, which can have a major impact on how they react to the news and process these changes in their lives.
Every situation is different, so you certainly need to consider your own children and what will work best for them. But here are three common tips that can usually help when you have this conversation.
1. Make it a family meeting
You and your spouse need to present a united front to the children, so you should both be there. Additionally, if you have multiple children, tell them all at the same time. Having everyone present ensures that everyone is on the same page.
2. Do not blame one another
You do not need to blame your spouse for the divorce in front of your children. You do not want the kids to feel like they have to choose a side or that they are somehow in the middle of a conflict between their parents. It is also important to assure the children that the divorce is not their fault. This may seem very obvious to you as an adult, but it is an assumption kids often make.
3. Treat it as an ongoing dialogue
Finally, do not think of this as a one-time conversation. You are not just giving the children some information about the future. Instead, you are having a two-sided dialogue. Give them a chance to express their feelings or concerns. Let them ask questions and try to provide answers to give them peace of mind.
Moving through a divorce
It is important to know how to talk to your children about divorce, but it is just one of the first steps to take. When addressing child custody issues and much more as you move through the divorce process, be sure to know exactly what legal steps to take.