Navigating shared custody can be a delicate dance, especially when children begin to express a preference. The kids may prefer spending all their weekends with one parent, the so-called “fun” parent.
While both parents may be loving, responsible and involved, kids often gravitate toward the one whose style feels more relaxed or exciting during downtime. This can leave the other parent feeling left out, hurt or even resentful. Understanding and addressing this dynamic with empathy, structure and open communication is key to maintaining balance.
What’s the root of the preference?
Children, especially younger ones, naturally associate weekends with play, freedom and relaxation. One parent may lean into this rhythm by:
- Planning outings
- Allowing more screen time
- Relaxing the rules
The kids may naturally perceive this parent as the “fun” one. This doesn’t mean the other parent is any less loving or important. The more structured parent often carries more weekday responsibilities like homework and routines, which can inadvertently create an association with “less fun.”
Communicate openly with the kids and the co-parent
Suppose the kids don’t see you as fun; you can change the narrative by asking what they enjoy about their weekends with the other parent and what they wish for during their time with you. Their answers may surprise you; they might just want more unstructured time or a simple tradition like pancakes on Sunday.
Equally important is communication with your co-parent. Shared custody requires mutual respect and flexibility. If one parent is unintentionally becoming the “weekend hero,” it’s worth having a collaborative conversation about how to support a more balanced dynamic.
It’s natural to feel hurt if your child seems to prefer the other parent for the weekend. However, you should remember that shared custody isn’t a competition; it’s a collaboration for your child’s growth and happiness. By staying open and enlisting timely legal support, you can build a relationship with your child rooted not in entertainment but in genuine connection and trust.